"It's not that I want the moon, I will. I thought it was normal to want to work even after the child. The degree to me are sweating and I do not want to tear up to make the perfect mother and devoted wife. I thought it was normal to put on family without having to reset for my son, or find myself marginalized in the office just returned from maternity leave, and I did it just took me to the nest, which also cost me a bang. I thought it was normal to rely on my husband, but when I saw that the fruit, worn and grim, he says things like: "If you want to keep it a bit 'I am the child." As if I would make her a pleasure! It is impatient for the evening did not play like they used to. But we can only Bellucci to hold together the profession, children, husband? You have to be special to be able to live a normal life? ". Words Erica, 34, and master's degree. Her boss likes to call meetings after seven in the evening and those who are no worse for him. Pardon for her.
A husband that procures the stunts daily to care for Matthew, eight months, and that the searches with ill-concealed disappointment because she is slow to regain physique du role and attitude of caring and passionate companion. Erica, a normal woman.
In his dismay, the courage . A woman, any woman of today, free to give shape to their dreams, would like to study, and then realize what they have studied in work that provides at least a little 'satisfaction and the valuable economic independence. A place in the world out there to build on the creativity, pragmatism, the passion that women know how to put into their work. She would like to express their beauty through a square, proud of her body, without fear of attracting glances, words, or even violent acts, but also without having to expose as a commodity on sale, that beauty without succumbing to the model prevailing in average of a silent female body, artifacts, framed pieces, humiliated. She would like to express their desire to meet the man: an encounter between equals, between equal and different between whole persons, based on mutual respect and reciprocity. She wants a lover who makes her feel better but then, if you love, and if it takes off un progetto generativo, di quel figlio sappia prendersi cura come e quanto lei. Vorrebbe poter dire basta, se l'infelicita è troppo grande, senza essere giudicata una madre sciagurata, senza essere perseguitata dall'angoscia dello stalking , senza botte, senza rischiare la vita. Una donna normale, una qualunque donna di oggi, vorrebbe poter scegliere liberamente, senza paura, senza pressioni, se avere o no dei figli. Vorrebbe veder riconosciuto il suo valore di persona completa anche senza un bimbo in braccio o divenire madre senza piegarsi al mito stanco della maternità , senza annullarsi, senza perdere il lavoro, senza rimanere sola, senza perdere l'autonomia e la parola, nel e sul mondo. Sogni tanto normali as reckless, at least by us here: the country "where the lemons bloom", as Heinrich Heine, does not know the dreams of women to flourish. Normal, bold. We feel women. With all the courage they are capable.
Irene Bernardini Psychologist, 1989, the center coordinates of the GEA (Parents Again) of the municipality of Milan. He founded the association SpazioMeF (Family Mediation and surrounding area) and works as a consultant to the ordinary court of Milan with regard to family conflicts. He just published by Mondadori Praise for a normal woman (pp. 252, € 17.50)
[just love this picture ... percchè Gustav Klimt]
And my fear now is that motherhood is a luxury only for those who can afford it.
Bellucci Only for 39 years gave birth to her first daughter and 45 the second.
Having children at this age is not for everyone. And now I see that not only makes those who study children "late" but also for those who decide to go to work after graduation, it becomes difficult, because the children do it in two. And two people responsible do not give birth to a creature just to satisfy his ego, or speak to me, sense breast. If so, I would be mom already 2 times, at this time.
And then we wonder why young people do not have confidence in the future?
But how do you: find their own way, studying, sew, finish school, make a mess, unable to find a job.
And then as you do today to: set up house, get married [and it takes a bang, even if you make things simple, basic model], have a child and in the meantime do not miss work [I speak especially to us women].
Then comes the son: but he that keeps you working and if you do not want to throw the air years of study and sacrifice, and if a single paycheck today, not enough?
But why, I say, do not put childcare at the workplace in order to facilitate us women? Especially those like me who are not ... but carrierasopraognicosa casalavorofamiglia !?!
discouraged A.
But do not give up.
A thought comes naturally: my parents are for me, heroes.
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